Dan & Phil Part 22: #rubberupfordan

pearshaped34 · Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:28 pm

coffeepenguin wrote: Now, what I was actually going to write before the video.
I know this has been talked about here, but still the thing that amazes me most in Deppy is that they deny being in any kind of relationship, but never use being single as a relatable thing, aside from a brief time in 2012-2013 and all very hypothetically. Like, two single dorks that are too awkward to even go on dates, what more do you want? (sidenote: I'm phan af, but that's why I never buy pro-phan arguments about not being able to live without any relationship for 6 years, come on, I've been single for 7 years now and it comes down to being too awkward and too much of workaholic, so, yeah, #relatable but I'm gay, so it may also play a role) Even with Japhan, I was just watching some PJ's videos (thanks for posting that link stella!) and in the one where he's doing the best friend tag with Pewdiepie they say they "even did a romantic trip to Japan together". Has anyone talked about it here, I don't remember? The thing is, though, they were both there with their girlfriends Although, Deppy might have said something about theirs, like, this is the most important trip of my life, I'd prefer to make it with a SO, but too awkward, I'm stuck with you, haha, whatever. They did nothing of sorts. And we know things like having a family in the future and just being in a relationship (2009!Phil am i right) are important to them in general, even if not right now.

Dan and Phil might be socially awkward nerds but they are also attractive, rich and internet famous so I don't buy for a second they couldn't get dates if they wanted them. And from what we know of their romantic lives before they meet (which admittedly isn't a lot) Dan was in a two year relationship and Phil made a number of tweets that made it sound like he was looking for love/actively dating so I also don't buy that they are just the type of people not interested in having romantic lives. Yes it's very plausible a person who could get dates may opt not to engage at all because they lack interest or they lack confidence but from what we know about who they were before each other I don't believe that's the case with them.

So as I don't believe they are staying single by choice or because they can't meet anyone that leaves me believing they are either together or they've dated or have partners that they've managed to keep hidden.

And yes the fact Dan doesn't play up the forever single angle as part of DINOF is very interesting to me. Because really what makes a socially awkward nerd more #relatable then being alone? It's like the only cliche relatable thing he could apply to himself that he doesn't use as brand.

DryCereal · Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:29 pm

taetaewl wrote:Something weird: Am I the only one that feels my back hurting every time I see Phil's bad posture?

Every. freaking. M&G. makes me cringe and want to grab the pair of them and forcibly stand them up straight.

vincentian · Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:36 pm

I enjoyed the Aussie DITL quite a lot, it seemed less acted out than the Pokemon Go videos (which I also quite like). Probably my fav DITL of them, so many nice little moments.

I'd like to add some out of context phrases that made me lol:

A couple moments besides those already mentioned:

I didn't get very upset about the 2 rooms situation as imo they never gave reason to think they're loosening up about such things as sleeping arrangements. Though reading amazing detectives' work on here it seems they did a pretty sloppy job covering it up anyway.

fancybum · Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:47 pm

coffeepenguin wrote:
I know this has been talked about here, but still the thing that amazes me most in Deppy is that they deny being in any kind of relationship, but never use being single as a relatable thing, aside from a brief time in 2012-2013 and all very hypothetically. Like, two single dorks that are too awkward to even go on dates, what more do you want? (sidenote: I'm phan af, but that's why I never buy pro-phan arguments about not being able to live without any relationship for 6 years, come on, I've been single for 7 years now and it comes down to being too awkward and too much of workaholic, so, yeah, #relatable but I'm gay, so it may also play a role) Even with Japhan, I was just watching some PJ's videos (thanks for posting that link stella!) and in the one where he's doing the best friend tag with Pewdiepie they say they "even did a romantic trip to Japan together". Has anyone talked about it here, I don't remember? The thing is, though, they were both there with their girlfriends Although, Deppy might have said something about theirs, like, this is the most important trip of my life, I'd prefer to make it with a SO, but too awkward, I'm stuck with you, haha, whatever. They did nothing of sorts. And we know things like having a family in the future and just being in a relationship (2009!Phil am i right) are important to them in general, even if not right now.

OK. So, I was still thinking about the point I was trying to make with all of this when the video dropped. I love Deppy very much, their videos are helping me through a kinda difficult phase, and I'll continue to support them, but I can't help now but feel very sad for them. I know they are white, rich and successful, but still, either they are so afraid of coming out (or scarred by, erm, the past happenings, in Phil's case) that they'll go to ridiculous lengths to hide their relationship, or they have been single all that time, but in that case (ok, not phan af all the time, sometimes phanagnostic), I really-really want them to talk about it, because I'm very interested in other people's perspective on being single for a long time. sorry, I still don't know what this all was about

Good post re: not using singleness for relatability.
I just want to comment on this part:

but I can't help now but feel very sad for them. I know they are white, rich and successful, but still, either they are so afraid of coming out (or scarred by, erm, the past happenings, in Phil's case) that they'll go to ridiculous lengths to hide their relationship, or they have been single all that time, but in that case (ok, not phan af all the time, sometimes phanagnostic), I really-really want them to talk about it, because I'm very interested in other people's perspective on being single for a long time.

I don't think it's an either/or of being perpetually single or terrified in the closet together. Dan is cool with not being perceived as straight. Phil basically has a protective shield around his private life, incl sexuality. But if they are together and want to keep that to themselves, it doesn't have to be out of fear. It's just out of protectiveness for their personal lives. They chose to share parts of themselves with the internet as a career, but that doesn't mean they want (or have) to share everything. Keeping the most important and intimate parts for themselves is understandable and nothing to pity them for.

More generally, for some people actually feeling upset or lied to in some way about them having two separate rooms: they don't owe us any explanation. They don't owe us their relationship details beyond what they let us see. After reading Delta503's post, it's actually so funny this is getting made into a thing because yes, they literally have their own bedrooms in their own home. Like. I'm kind of dying. It's so funny. Let's all flip our shit every time they film in their actual own separate rooms in the house they've shared for half a decade.

gnostic · Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:49 pm

pearshaped34 wrote:Dan and Phil might be socially awkward nerds but they are also attractive, rich and internet famous so I don't buy for a second they couldn't get dates if they wanted them. And from what we know of their romantic lives before they meet (which admittedly isn't a lot) Dan was in a two year relationship and Phil made a number of tweets that made it sound like he was looking for love/actively dating so I also don't buy that they are just the type of people not interested in having romantic lives. Yes it's very plausible a person who could get dates may opt not to engage at all because they lack interest or they lack confidence but from what we know about who they were before each other I don't believe that's the case with them.

So as I don't believe they are staying single by choice or because they can't meet anyone that leaves me believing they are either together or they've dated or have partners that they've managed to keep hidden.

One option that I didn't see you bring up is that in recent years, they may have chosen to keep things casual with whoever they were seeing because having a stable SO would seriously jeopardize their rising youtube fame (we all know it would).

Anyway, there's been questions over the course of the few last pages: people asking if they sound "reaching", sound like Larry fans and conspiracy theorists. Well, to put it bluntly, you do to some extent. That's been my problem with pro-phan side for so long. There's always that worshipping treatment of some evidence that is circumstantial at best.

Like a random outline of some gadget on Dan's bad, two chargers (I have six chargers plugged around my hotel room right now and all of them are mine), a bottle of something that may be contact lense solution (i have general eye drops of the same color). like, come on, guys. Let's be real.

Is it possible that Dan and Phil actually share a room, and maybe even a bed? Yeah, sure.
Is DITL always scripted? Most definetely.
Are Dan and Phil making it a bit weird by hammering down "separate bedrooms" things when it's completely normal for platonic BFFs to share hotel rooms and Dan and Phil themselves do it all the time? I would say so, although most "besties" I know would prefer separate rooms if they can afford it.
Does clinging to random jumpcuts and gadgets in background as some sort of Holmes level evidence look a bit crazy? ...I don't want to say it, but I do.

pearshaped34 · Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:19 pm

Double post

pearshaped34 · Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:23 pm

gnostic wrote:
pearshaped34 wrote: So as I don't believe they are staying single by choice or because they can't meet anyone that leaves me believing they are either together or they've dated or have partners that they've managed to keep hidden.
One option that I didn't see you bring up is that in recent years, they may have chosen to keep things casual with whoever they were seeing because having a stable SO would seriously jeopardize their rising youtube fame (we all know it would).

I meant to cover causal partners under the they've dated option but in reading it back that perhaps isn't clear and reads more like I meant they've dated each other in the past tense rather then they have causally dated other people and kept that hidden which is what I meant.

But no I didn't go into the reasons they might only causal date and yes the fear that having a significant other that isn't each other would hurt their careers could be a very real factor in them avoiding dating and getting serious with anyone.

That being said whether it's casual dating or being completely alone that Dan has going on I still don't get why DINOF isn't blabbering on about being a lonesome singleton who'll probably die alone for #relatable bants. For me avoiding the topic all together makes me suspect he has someone.

Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:25 pm

fancybum wrote:More generally, for some people actually feeling upset or lied to in some way about them having two separate rooms: they don't owe us any explanation. They don't owe us their relationship details beyond what they let us see. After reading Delta503's post, it's actually so funny this is getting made into a thing because yes, they literally have their own bedrooms in their own home. Like. I'm kind of dying. It's so funny. Let's all flip our shit every time they film in their actual own separate rooms in the house they've shared for half a decade.

I want to quote all of Delta503's post and just spam with the thumbs up button, but instead I'll just quote this bc it's also my reaction.

It's also a reminder of what coming out would do to/for them. People already feel this entitled to know where they sleep and they aren't even an out couple. Imagine the information people are going to feel like they deserve to know/how much a denial of private info will feel like a rejection when basic doubts like 'ok but are they together?' are off the table. I'd be terrified of coming out, too.

(I'm not excluding myself from that narrative, btw, I am as guilty as anyone of pressing my eyes to the glass and staring wide so I don't miss any details.)

gnostic · Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:45 pm

pearshaped34 wrote:
gnostic wrote:
pearshaped34 wrote: So as I don't believe they are staying single by choice or because they can't meet anyone that leaves me believing they are either together or they've dated or have partners that they've managed to keep hidden.
One option that I didn't see you bring up is that in recent years, they may have chosen to keep things casual with whoever they were seeing because having a stable SO would seriously jeopardize their rising youtube fame (we all know it would).
I meant to cover causal partners under the they've dated option but in reading it back that perhaps isn't clear and reads more like I meant they've dated each other in the past tense rather then they have causally dated other people and kept that hidden which is what I meant.

But no I didn't go into the reasons they might only causal date and yes the fear that having a significant other that isn't each other would hurt their careers could be a very real factor in them avoiding dating and getting serious with anyone.

That being said whether it's casual dating or being completely alone that Dan has going on I still don't get why DINOF isn't blabbering on about being a lonesome singleton who'll probably die alone for #relatable bants. For me avoiding the topic all together makes me suspect he has someone.

Orrr he knows that pushing "phan isn't actually a thing" too much might again jeopardize his career which blossomed in large part thanks to all the shipping. So finding that balance is more important than checking all the #relatable boxes

pearshaped34 · Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:50 pm

gnostic wrote:
pearshaped34 wrote:
gnostic wrote:
pearshaped34 wrote: So as I don't believe they are staying single by choice or because they can't meet anyone that leaves me believing they are either together or they've dated or have partners that they've managed to keep hidden.
One option that I didn't see you bring up is that in recent years, they may have chosen to keep things casual with whoever they were seeing because having a stable SO would seriously jeopardize their rising youtube fame (we all know it would).
I meant to cover causal partners under the they've dated option but in reading it back that perhaps isn't clear and reads more like I meant they've dated each other in the past tense rather then they have causally dated other people and kept that hidden which is what I meant.

But no I didn't go into the reasons they might only causal date and yes the fear that having a significant other that isn't each other would hurt their careers could be a very real factor in them avoiding dating and getting serious with anyone.

That being said whether it's casual dating or being completely alone that Dan has going on I still don't get why DINOF isn't blabbering on about being a lonesome singleton who'll probably die alone for #relatable bants. For me avoiding the topic all together makes me suspect he has someone.
Orrr he knows that pushing "phan isn't actually a thing" too much might again jeopardize his career which blossomed in large part thanks to all the shipping. So finding that balance is more important than checking all the #relatable boxes

Well he wasn't big on the #realatable single bants in 2012/13 either and at that time he was being very publicly hostile to even the idea he was romantically involved with Phil as he clearly didn't believe it would help his career (at the time) so I personally don't believe he stays away from it because he wants everyone to think Phan is real for money and views but .

And actually don't think they ever really shy away from saying Phan isn't real even if they no longer make the verbal denials. Yes they do a certain level of domestic Phan sevice and throw in little comments they know will please the shippers but when it comes to the real stuff like bed sharing they usually make a point of making it very very clear they do not. Even in Dan's dis rap he made a point of saying he was popular because he was shipped with his friend.
They do some Phan service but I've always thought they draw a clear line on anything that might really suggest they are together.

hunnyftw · Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:04 pm

Philena wrote: I am phan af, and I enjoy nsfw phanfic and phan art, but I honestly don't want to know where they sleep and who they do/do not fuck. All I want from them are the moments they have seemed so eager to provide as of late--the kindness, the fondness, the flirty nature of their relationship. They are obviously each other's fave person and spend an inordinate amount of time with each other. They have just seemed so happy and comfortable with each other lately, and this video was no exception.

Yes, yes yes! I have occasional doubts and moments of weakness when I forget the founding principles (lol srsly) of my adventure as a Deppy's viewer, but you just reminded me of them. I'm using all these big words slightly ironically, I swear Same to all of this. My personal brand of being phan af (and I am, believe me!) boils down to enjoying their chemistry and their clearly genuine bond and wishing them all the best in their lives. Do I like the staged waking up scene? Not really. I don't need my entertainers to be slightly condescending towards me and very unsubtly hammer down their talking points down my throat: For many complicated reasons that probably have a lot to do with our insecurities, our internet past and our relationship with our fanbase we really really want you to know that we.have.separate.rooms. Did.you.get.it? But really, did you?

Oh well. But that's Deppy for you, and it's not the first nor the last time they've done this.
I mean... brush it off and start again with the rest of the video hoping to a deity of your choice/everything that's good in this world that it will be better, yeah?

And boy, it was. This video. This video. It's an absolute gem. I'm with missemma, it's up there with the festive ditl for me as well. And the new-found wave of fondness for them is real maaan. You're right, they were so delicate with the animals, especially Dan, which was a nice change from his usual slightly screamy on-camera behaviour.
I don't want to make this post 1000 words long with all the timestamps, some people have already written some of my favourites. I just have to say that Phil feeding the emu and then running away from it and Dan herding the geese, omf and g especially Dan herding the geese, are now in my top 5 ever Deppy moments. Seriously, I don't know what it is but I probably rewatched Dan herding these freaking geese at least 10 times. No regrets. It made my life about 5 times better
I need gifs of it. Somebody please find me gifs of it

pearshaped34 wrote: And actually don't think they ever really shy away from saying Phan isn't real even if they no longer make the verbal denials. Yes they do a certain level of domestic Phan sevice and throw in little comments they know will please the shippers but when it comes to the real stuff like bed sharing they usually make a point of making it very very clear they do not. Even in Dan's dis rap he made a point of saying he was popular because he was shipped with his friend.
They do some Phan service but I've always thought they draw a clear line on anything that might really suggest they are together.

This doesn't fit with my post at all seeing as I just basically made a giant happy-go-lucky manifesto stating that I neither wish to nor see the need to engage in the ~serious analysis~ right now but... I kinda sorta think you really have a point here.

Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:14 pm

Fun story: I was at a Pokémon Go event in my city when uploaded. So while I was just minding my own business catching Pokémon I saw the notification for a DITL and actually squealed, causing a guy next to me to think there was an exciting Pokémon nearby :') Sorry bro, just a Poliwag and some Pidgey Killed me that I couldn't watch it immediately btw, like wtf me why are you doing shit on a Sunday?

But holy hell, A DAY IN THE LIFE. Talk about unexpected, I thought we'd have to be satisfied with the PokéGo episodes for now.

- Sleeping arrangements shown in DITL videos, always sure to spark a mass meltdown of Phan shippers suddenly doubting everything. Myself included. *sad sigh*
- I thought I'd get over it after the USA tour, but nope I still a weird feeling of anger at the word 'pancakes' especially when Phil says it.

- - They're not even eating breakfast together, this DITL is cancelled.
- I immediately thought of the fucking lube thing at the Piña Colada chocolate bit and I hate myself for it.
- I know hotel rooms don't usually come with a wide selection of glasses so they probably didn't have much choice, but something about them drinking that milk stuff from wine glasses is hilarious to me.
- My worries about the koala used for the pic have been taken away, the park obviously takes good care of the little cuties and all the other animals.
- I thought those photos were cute af but it's even better on film. Dan was adorable, cooing over it with his voice all high. Phil looked nervous lol.

- I laughed too much at the Shibeifying of the dingos.
- Dan almost got rekt by a kangaroo. Don't approach (wild) animals from the back you idiot.

- That emu is terrifying.
- Dan the Geeseherd.
- Them hopping around like kangaroos, they're such kids.
- Phil saying 'Look at Dan!' at the reveal of the koala picture, because who cares about the cute animal when your boyfriend is cuter :')
- Dan laying on the floor watching the Olympics, SAME.
- The smut side of the Tumblr phandom is gonna run with that pose Dan is doing...

This wasn't my fav DITL by a long shot, but it was still cute and I'm just so here for content of them doing shit while on tour after the USA tour disaster.

...I said I wasn't gonna go into room discussion but fuck it, Phil 'waking up' in the shirt he was gonna wear that day was weird and suspicious. He has never minded showing people he sleeps shirtless so unless he became a prude overnight that can't be the reason. But I just don't know what to think anymore so I'm gonna leave it I guess.

coffeepenguin · Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:26 pm

fancybum wrote:I don't think it's an either/or of being perpetually single or terrified in the closet together. Dan is cool with not being perceived as straight. Phil basically has a protective shield around his private life, incl sexuality. But if they are together and want to keep that to themselves, it doesn't have to be out of fear. It's just out of protectiveness for their personal lives. They chose to share parts of themselves with the internet as a career, but that doesn't mean they want (or have) to share everything. Keeping the most important and intimate parts for themselves is understandable and nothing to pity them for.

You know, as someone who's still struggling with their sexuality well in their 20s, I've tried really hard to understand their reasons for not coming out (if they're not straight, bla-bla-bla, but we basically had out confirmation with Dan recently, so). So far, what I found is Dan's multiple references to bullying ("gaylord" etc.) and this bit about his hospital experience in Manchester and being afraid (around 1:50):

Yet, the one who's been overly protective about their relationship is Phil, especially after the 2012-2013 debacle (the mutual friend lie, but he's still the one basically being in control about the DIDL as it's on his channel) - and he's never talked about bullying or something like that AFAIR. But, of course, I respect all their decisions and, as dizzy said:

alittledizzy wrote:It's also a reminder of what coming out would do to/for them. People already feel this entitled to know where they sleep and they aren't even an out couple. Imagine the information people are going to feel like they deserve to know/how much a denial of private info will feel like a rejection when basic doubts like 'ok but are they together?' are off the table. I'd be terrified of coming out, too.

hazeygal212 · Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:51 pm

I've been giving Dan and Phil the benefit of the doubt for a while now, but this video kind of flipped a switch in my brain. Whether or not they were "lying" or "hiding the truth," I saw the two room situation as a clear and purposeful message to their audience. To me, it was a Phan denial.

I know not everyone will interpret it that way, but I felt like deppy were basically saying, "we're not sleeping together! we don't even share a room, we're NOT a couple!"

I'm a huge phan shipper, and I think there are so many things that can't be explained, or just don't fit with the idea that they've always been platonic friends, but this was too much, even for a conspiracy theorist like me.

If they are denying phan atm, to me that suggests one of two things. Either, they're not together, in which case the queerbaiting they did during the tour/the urge/every single video filled with suggestive comments is extremely off putting to me... (and ik everyone hates queerbaiting discussions on here so I won't elaborate any further)

Or, option two, they're a couple, and have been hiding their relationship for the past 7 years. And as a queer woman, I can't support that anymore.

I know, people take time to come out of the closet. I completely understand and respect that- and I completely respect the choice to keep a relationship private too. But they haven't just been vague, they've outright denied it. At one point in time they even denied any male attraction.

And as someone who has been with partners who wanted to "keep it secret" and "pretend we're friends," it honestly bothers me, a lot.

I'm proud of my sexuality, and my girlfriend, and even if we were big celebrities who wanted to keep our relationship out of the limelight, I would never pretend the way Dan and Phil do. That would be an insult to my girlfriend, and to myself.

I'm sure many of you will disagree with me, and I'm okay with that. But personally, I don't think I can watch Dan and Phil anymore. Part of why I, and probably many people, enjoy their videos, is because they're perceived as LGBTQ+, and they inspire people like myself.

Whether it's intentional or not, Dan and Phil profit from the queer community. They profit from their perceived relationship & sexuality. Many of their viewers are lgbtq+, especially tweens and teens, who may still be in the process of understanding their own sexualities.

In my opinion, with their platform, hiding a gay relationship would be sending a harmful message to those kids. And if there is no relationship to hide, then as I said, their faux flirtation- which gets them views and money- leaves an awful taste in my mouth.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with this opinion. I think it's fine to be a deppy fan, and I was for four years, but I just can't be anymore.

By the way, I think everyone on this forum is wonderful, and I hope no one is hurt by my thoughts.

uglyamerican · Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:53 pm

fancybum wrote: I don't think it's an either/or of being perpetually single or terrified in the closet together. Dan is cool with not being perceived as straight. Phil basically has a protective shield around his private life, incl sexuality. But if they are together and want to keep that to themselves, it doesn't have to be out of fear. It's just out of protectiveness for their personal lives. They chose to share parts of themselves with the internet as a career, but that doesn't mean they want (or have) to share everything. Keeping the most important and intimate parts for themselves is understandable and nothing to pity them for.

Agree.

Keeping their relationship status ambiguous helps to keep subscribers (viewers) engaged (plus maintains the brand.) If the "mystery" is solved, some viewers might move on. Anyway, D&P show us what they want us to know about them - the rest is private. The mystique lives on. Good for them.

karma_yeah · Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:59 pm

I was so excited to see a DITL video . . . until I watched the first part and my stomach did that "flippy over thing", only not in a good way, and my fell off.

There were already 4 pages more of the thread, so I decided to read through people's thoughts before watching the whole thing, hoping to see some solid sherlock work that would repair the goggles and I could happily enjoy what most people seemed to think was a cute/adorable video. I didn't really find any reassurance, so I put my big-girl panties on and watched. And yes, overall, pretty cute and adorable.

So why do I feel so bad?

Objectively, from the "they haven't been seen with anyone else for almost 7 years, give me a break" perspective, I still think they are together??

But I got the strong We.Are.Not.Together message pretty much throughout the whole thing to the end :sad garbage:

There was such an effort to make it appear, or to be clear, that they are not together. What is that all about? What happened to being passively ambiguous? This was not ambiguous.

Yet, it felt weirdly scripted and off-putting to me to the point that it definitely affected my ability to enjoy the video as a whole. If they really aren't together, why not just address it directly, in some convincing way: date other people, live separately? Strange

blueapple_x · Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:12 pm

I really enjoyed that video!

I think it's because of the animals and the cute interactions they had with them. That kangaroo swatting Dan away was hilarious.

I also think it's kind of strange they didn't at least have breakfast together. Despite what they did/didn't want us to see, having breakfast together wouldn't have been a big deal so maybe Phil let Dan sleep in since he's still recovering from pneumonia.

I don't think it's that weird that Phil already had his shirt on when the video started. He probably got dressed first and then started filming.

coffeepenguin · Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:25 pm

more sexuality speculation:

Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:10 am

I really like this dialogue on why Dan & Phil may choose to never disclose their relationship.

Like coffeepenguin, I too want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Their position of influence should not be reason for them to come out and become role models of any kind. And even with that said, in my books, Dan is clearly not straight. Perhaps, with the size of today's audiene, Phil is not comfortable making that public knowledge on his end.

Them confirming their relationship will affect literally every aspect of their lives, but beyond that, it'll make everything about them public. If I were a public figure, there would be aspects of my life that I would very much like to keep to myself, for the sake of having a happy oasis away from prying eyes. Dan and Phil's home, friends, travels, career, even their damn underwear is public knowledge and it must be nice to have their significant others be something they keep to themselves. Sure, maybe others would be proud to display their relationship, but they proudly display everything else. They don't need this.

Definitively denying Phan, however, will result in an unnecessarily unhappy Phandom. So, while I personally don't love not knowing, I completely understand.

...and I'll keep overanalyzing because I find that shit fun and frankly, they provide the material.

fancybum · Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:12 am

uglyamerican wrote:
fancybum wrote: I don't think it's an either/or of being perpetually single or terrified in the closet together. Dan is cool with not being perceived as straight. Phil basically has a protective shield around his private life, incl sexuality. But if they are together and want to keep that to themselves, it doesn't have to be out of fear. It's just out of protectiveness for their personal lives. They chose to share parts of themselves with the internet as a career, but that doesn't mean they want (or have) to share everything. Keeping the most important and intimate parts for themselves is understandable and nothing to pity them for.
Agree.

Keeping their relationship status ambiguous helps to keep subscribers (viewers) engaged (plus maintains the brand.) If the "mystery" is solved, some viewers might move on. Anyway, D&P show us what they want us to know about them - the rest is private. The mystique lives on. Good for them.

Thank you for agreeing, but please don't think your comment is at all what I had in mind when I wrote mine. I'm fascinated that every single part of their lives solely comes down to business with you, I commend you on your consistency, but respectfully disagree with what you've said and the sentiment behind it.

I guess these will be the thoughts of a delusional phannie but I just want to make myself slightly clearer for my own peace of mind:

I don't think they're manipulating anybody, or attempting to. I don't think they're trying to cash in on Phan™ at the expense of lgbt+ viewers and I don't think every single thing they do that involves the other is fanservice or worse, ~queerbaiting~. I think they're two people in a long-term relationship that don't want to sell it to the world. They live together, they work together, they're a duo. They are best friends. They don't talk about their romantic lives because that's not what their channels are about; they don't want to daily vlog, they don't want to live like an open book for their audience. An earlier comment was mad that they haven't confirmed Phan and at points have outright denied it. My question is: when did they hold up a bible and swear to tell the truth about whatever any one of us demands? They have no obligation to not lie. Their personal life is nobody's business and no lgbt+ person is obligated to come out to be an example or shepherd for others. It would be nice if everybody was loud and proud at all times about everything, but nobody is required to do that, whatever they identify as and however privileged they are.

Is the biggest draw their dynamic with each other? Most would say yes. Do they exploit it? I would say no. Being aware of something and exploiting something are not the same thing. They're aware Phan sells. They were aware Phan sells in 2012 and were decidedly not comfortable with that. [Insert any number of reasons here]. They were making money in 2012, they could have parted ways, I don't think it was in their BBC contract that they needed to live together for infinity in order to keep their jobs. They stayed together during a period of time that they were aggressively trying to keep their public 'brands' separate. From a purely business perspective: WTF.

Now they're just in a sometimes uncomfortable place of letting their public brands merge together (yes ok for better business dealings) while keeping their private lives as private as they can. But there will be awkward moments where (delusional warning) the fact that they're privately together seeps into their public interactions. How do you hide your love for somebody when your job is to be with that person in everything you do? You smile at each other, joke with each other, make everybody watching feel like a third wheel sometimes, but remember that you're just friends and try to act accordingly. Well if you're not friends with your SO, you're doing it wrong. So the line is blurry and gets peoples' spider senses tingling...

I think their cute selfies and candid shots of each other are natural. That's probably 85% of the pics on their phones. What else are they going to share on instagram? They know people want it. They have it in abundance to give and yet we still get mostly scraps. You know what would be some real fanservice? Candid pics of Dan asleep in Phil's bed. Think of the $£$£$£$.

Basically I think we get a restrained version of their actual lives, minus more intimate details that are none of our fucking business to begin with, because that's the path of least resistance. The fact that the path of least resistance is somehow also the path paved with love and money is pretty cool for , but I don't agree that it's by design of some detached manipulative business colleagues biding their time until [insert end goal of masterplan here]. They're just doing the best they can while trying to keep something for themselves. If in doing that they feel the need to stage a 'waking up scene' here and there to establish (or re-establish) boundaries, then have at it. They don't owe you any truths. They're not your real dads.

trinitypixi · Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:16 am

Hi I just wanted ask a quick question that's restated to the topic. Why does everyone speculate if Dan is gay but not speculate if he is bisexual . He had told us he dated a girl for three years which seems like a pretty straight thing to do.

and has said he dated other girls in the past.

Unless he lied about that

Lurktacularr · Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:25 am

trinitypixi wrote:Hi I just wanted ask a quick question that's restated to the topic. Why does everyone speculate if Dan is gay but not speculate if he is bisexual . He had told us he dated a girl for three years which seems like a pretty straight thing to do. and has said he dated other girls in the past.

Unless he lied about that

U ok bro? I think bisexual is the general consensus. 'Not straight' is probably the most common term.

fancybum That whole post as ever, have my thumb

coffeepenguin · Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:27 am

I agree with basically everything fancybum just said (even is something I wrote myself previously contradicts it, I'm a mess and I don't know how to english)

uglyamerican · Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:29 am

Since this video was posted on AP's account, could he possibly feel a responsibility to his younger audience members to keep more platonic appearances? I mean some of his audience are r e a l l y young, and might have trouble processing more adult behaviors and situations. Perhaps this is why Dan seems less (but still) concerned about appearances, since his content is a *bit* more risque. IDK...

On the political side of sexuality, I believe that people have the right to be as open or as private about their status as they feel comfortable presenting to the world. It is their life and their choice. I do not see a responsibility to announce what team you play for, and it's nobody else's business when it comes down to it. Besides, people will come to their own conclusions regardless of what is said.

Side note: I personally enjoy ambiguity, but in my teens / uni days I would have forcibly denied being anything other than straight if asked / *accused,* mainly because of misplaced fear of somehow being rejected by my parents (would not have happened) or peers (might have happened.) FTR, I've only been in opposite sex relationships, but my attractions are not limited by gender.

confusedpanda · Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:33 am

well said fancybum!! I've been all up and down on this all day but that whole post is well put together and actually solidifies some of the thoughts I've had.