IDB

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 2:49 am**

oqua wrote:RANDOM ALERT: Over the past, like, week, I've collected three examples of Phil pushing Dan into water or something similar. I find it weirdly hilarious and intriguing. Does anyone have more examples? lol

Haha

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 2:55 am**

akui wrote:
For their codependency, i think they are not crazy codependent, but to mee they are still a little bit too codependent on each other, especially if they see each other as security blanket.

If we rate codependency from 1 to 5
1) Completely independent, but it's nice hanging out with my friend
2) Pretty independent, but having my friend close to me makes me feel more confident
3) Mostly independent, sometimes I need my friend to help me out
4) Not very independent, I'm not good at doing it alone, I really need my friend
5) Completely codependent, I cannot function without my friend

I think deppy are around 2-3, still not very ideal.

What do you guys think?

I agree, 2-3 with some instances of 4

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 3:05 am**

christyimnotred wrote:
mermaid blood wrote:sometimes I'm a bit surprised to see the comments on phan - not over their bond, of course, which i agree comes across closer to obsessive best friends with giddy sexual chemistry than the typical long-term couple vibe. but moreso the time thing. it might just be my age? (late 20s) - but i personally know 2 couples who have been together 6-8 years and still spend every day together, have a healthy sex life (tmi) and adore one another (one gay, one het); and my sister and brother-in-law have a similarly close marriage and have been together since they were 16 (are now 35).

6 years...in the scheme of things really isn't that long. nor is their closeness or compatibility hugely uncommon. i think what is more uncommon about them is the health of their bond in the face of some heavy shit. being in the public eye and the subject of an obsessive fanbase, not anonymous joes with regular jobs, and closeted to boot. also a seemingly small support group. that is impressive, to me. to weather storms magnified 10 fold by their circumstances, and still be on one another's side.

totally agree with this theory that Phil flirts or is inappropriate overtly sometimes to overcompensate nerves, both with Dan and with others. alittledizzy what you said about Phil being worried he wouldn't be appealing out of his 5 minute snippets is perfect. people overlook that when thinking about them starting out.
I don't know. I'm pretty old, I've been married for 23 years and I know a lot of couples. And I only know 1 that has the closeness that have. Most couples I know like each other fine but aren't best friends, inseparable, always want to be together. I think it is very rare to find a relationship like that and I hope they know how special what they have is. I've never had anyone in my life I could have 5 hour Skype conversations with, not even my sister who is the closest person to me. Even when they are at parties they are side by side. What in the world do they find to talk about all the time? Don't they get tired of each other? When my husband and I go to a party, I ditch him as soon as possible. We spend enough time together, let me talk to someone else!

I think in this particular case, it's very cultural. There is only a minority of couples I've seen who actually knew each other before marriage. So, most of the time, the couples aren't really very "in love" as such. They are dependent on each other, ofc, especially if they've been married for a long time, but they don't really have the same chemistry as dan and phil.

idk about what couples who are actually in love for a long time are like, but I do know that most people aren't really like them, at least where I live. Even the couples who actually did marry someone they were in love with. But, maybe I just don't know couples like that because there aren't any in my family, and people like them hardly have friends outside themselves.

(upon further reflection, I do know couples who are similar to them. Both couples had arranged marriages, and are both kind of annoying. the couples are very different from each other, though)

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 3:12 am**

oqua, I don't think it's Phil doing the pushing (pretty sure it's crabstickz?) but Dan gets pushed into the pool in this vid, around 0:53

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 3:20 am**

akui wrote:
For their codependency, i think they are not crazy codependent, but to mee they are still a little bit too codependent on each other, especially if they see each other as security blanket.

If we rate codependency from 1 to 5
1) Completely independent, but it's nice hanging out with my friend
2) Pretty independent, but having my friend close to me makes me feel more confident
3) Mostly independent, sometimes I need my friend to help me out
4) Not very independent, I'm not good at doing it alone, I really need my friend
5) Completely codependent, I cannot function without my friend

I think deppy are around 2-3, still not very ideal.

What do you guys think?

i would say 3 or 4 to be honest, probably a 3, but obviously that's just my interpretation who knows

but i do think we have enough '''evidence''' to say that they are most likely at least slightly codependent, i don't think anyone can argue that they dislike being apart, even though they spend so much time together than most people would be glad to be apart

the fact they are always seen together at youtube parties and events even when they know tons of people and don't have to be together it's such a huge ?how???why????? to me

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 3:31 am**

trashqueen wrote:
i would say 3 or 4 to be honest, probably a 3, but obviously that's just my interpretation who knows

but i do think we have enough '''evidence''' to say that they are most likely at least slightly codependent, i don't think anyone can argue that they dislike being apart, even though they spend so much time together than most people would be glad to be apart

the fact they are always seen together at youtube parties and events even when they know tons of people and don't have to be together it's such a huge ?how???why????? to me

There is only one instance i can remember is in a youtube party Dan was hanging out with Jack and Louise, Phil was talking to Jim Chapman. But they were literally just standing 5 meters away at most.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 3:34 am**

icklebrina wrote:oqua, I don't think it's Phil doing the pushing (pretty sure it's crabstickz?) but Dan gets pushed into the pool in this vid, around 0:53

Nah those are all Phil.

Anyways finally decided to post here. Love the atmosphere so much more than gg and all the recent talk about Phil!

hope I post here more than I did in gg

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:04 am**

felucca wrote:
Sidenote, but aren't sex toy handcuffs usually in metal? I mean I guess they can be made out of plastic too, but there most certainly isn't anything unusual about them being metal, like come on guys. Seriously questioning your kink factor now u vanilla motherfckers.

Sex toy handcuffs used for actual BDSM purposes are metal (or leather, or neoprene, or latex). The plastic ones are referred to as "bachelorette toys" because they're not normally used for sex play so much as they're used as a playful accessory (such at at bachelorette parties), because they break really easily. It's kinda like the difference between a plastic inflatable dick and a rubber dildo.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:05 am**

loving the discussion!! just caught up on 6 pages, remind me to check more often. don't know what i'm gonna do when school starts up again next week

back on the topic of codependency, wasn't phil gone when these infamous tweets were made?

i went back to the old gg thread and apparently phil went up north to see friends or something

this was a few days after the possibly-drunk liveshow of august 25, which looking back now phil was out of the house for that too at his parents, filming his liveshow at his parents two days before on the 23rd. he was still gone on the 25th as we got the zoo pics with his brother that day :/ i'll put the liveshows under the spoiler because i find dans especially interesting in the light of phil being gone (and extra 15 minutes online!), but it really strengthens that co-dependency aspect... getting possibly drunk and doing a liveshow how bloody risky dear lord and then tweeting out the above in god knows what state? ugh. i hope there wasn't a fight.

edit: fixed. thanks oqua!

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:25 am**

kinemacolor wrote:

Forget about codependency, i clicked the video and then BOOM!!!

His Hair was so big, it's like calling me to make a meme out of it!!!

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:32 am**

icklebrina wrote:oqua, I don't think it's Phil doing the pushing (pretty sure it's crabstickz?) but Dan gets pushed into the pool in this vid, around 0:53

This is one of my favorite videos, when crabsticks gets out of the water so gracefully. And dan and phil with their little splashy games. It's so precious- it's also where this reply to dear Charlie came about (sorry if it's big I'm using my phone )

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:47 am**

akui wrote:
kinemacolor wrote:
Forget about codependency, i clicked the video and then BOOM!!!

His Hair was so big, it's like calling me to make a meme out of it!!!

what,, , what's hiding in his hair? is that..? it can't be

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:50 am**

Also the codependency thing, I don't want to write a lot because I agree with what everyone is saying. But here's my perspective: they are codependent to an extent, but when did codependency become a stigma? Why is it seen as bad that they rely on each other. Their codependency is by all means completely healthy. They rely on each other for emotional support and to expel the feeling of loneliness which are present in many who become famous. I mean Dan is only awkward is social events because for the most part him and Phil don't trust others, they don't know who is genuine to them and who is using them to maximize their own potential fame. When they do find someone, like Louise, then they can be apart and still function.

They started off low and grew together so they have utmost respect, understanding, and trust for each other. Yes Dan will usually turn to Phil for advice, and yes they seem really sad when they are apart but at the end of the day its because the find comfort in each other. Comfort that can't obtained by anyone else

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:56 am**

kinemacolor wrote:loving the discussion!! just caught up on 6 pages, remind me to check more often. don't know what i'm gonna do when school starts up again next week

back on the topic of codependency, wasn't phil gone when these infamous tweets were made?

i went back to the old gg thread and apparently phil went up north to see friends or something

Weren't this tweets made the time Phil had a reunion with some friends of university? And after that he said that Dan was with him too.

I always thought that that was a lie. Why was Dan tweeting that while being in a reunion. Idk.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:01 am**

What radioshow was this from?

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:02 am**

kinemacolor wrote:
akui wrote:
kinemacolor wrote:
Forget about codependency, i clicked the video and then BOOM!!!

His Hair was so big, it's like calling me to make a meme out of it!!!
what,, , what's hiding in his hair? is that..? it can't be

this makes me feel alive

also omg i remember this liveshow but now hearing people theorizing that he may possible be drunk puts it in a whole other (amusing) perspective Does anyone know what past threads people talked about this in? Or give me a rundown on what exactly made people think that he was drunk (unless it's just that he was being extra silly then w/e)

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:11 am**

kuensukki wrote:Also the codependency thing, I don't want to write a lot because I agree with what everyone is saying. But here's my perspective: they are codependent to an extent, but when did codependency become a stigma? Why is it seen as bad that they rely on each other. Their codependency is by all means completely healthy. They rely on each other for emotional support and to expel the feeling of loneliness which are present in many who become famous. I mean Dan is only awkward is social events because for the most part him and Phil don't trust others, they don't know who is genuine to them and who is using them to maximize their own potential fame. When they do find someone, like Louise, then they can be apart and still function.

They started off low and grew together so they have utmost respect, understanding, and trust for each other. Yes Dan will usually turn to Phil for advice, and yes they seem really sad when they are apart but at the end of the day its because the find comfort in each other. Comfort that can't obtained by anyone else

I don't mean this as an argument so oh dear I hope I don't sound sassy or rude, but I think what you're talking about is more or less them being more comfortable around each other than other people, which makes total sense! Codependency is more like not being able to exist without another person, refusing to do anything without that other person's guidance/permission, etc etc, which isn't a healthy relationship because then people start losing their own autonomy, like if one person is left without the other and they're suddenly unable to function/exist as a healthy human being.
Despite how tragic it is, it's quite an interesting subject to look up, so if anyone is unclear about this I highly suggest doing it! You can also get a lot of good information about how to have a healthy relationship/be a good partner, etc etc.

This is your friendly and totally unqualified neighborhood camp counselor Pixlexia signing off
Also sorry for double posting I'm shameful

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:12 am**

blueapple_x wrote:What radioshow was this from?

The Apr 6 show:

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:15 am**

kuensukki wrote:Also the codependency thing, I don't want to write a lot because I agree with what everyone is saying. But here's my perspective: they are codependent to an extent, but when did codependency become a stigma? Why is it seen as bad that they rely on each other. Their codependency is by all means completely healthy. They rely on each other for emotional support and to expel the feeling of loneliness which are present in many who become famous. I mean Dan is only awkward is social events because for the most part him and Phil don't trust others, they don't know who is genuine to them and who is using them to maximize their own potential fame. When they do find someone, like Louise, then they can be apart and still function.

They started off low and grew together so they have utmost respect, understanding, and trust for each other. Yes Dan will usually turn to Phil for advice, and yes they seem really sad when they are apart but at the end of the day its because the find comfort in each other. Comfort that can't obtained by anyone else

i agree w this, in fact i kinda get all warm and gushy inside from that aspect of their relationship. codependency is different, i've always viewed it in the context of abusive relationships, people need to actualize and self identify before identifying as half of a whole. basically the 'your partner shouldn't complete you rather complement you' deal.

not gonna lie, when dan fav'd that wirrow tweet (something along the lines of; i thought i was hungry so i ate, i thought i was thirsty so i drank, but really i was just missing you) when phil was away

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:18 am**

fancybum wrote:
blueapple_x wrote:What radioshow was this from?

The Apr 6 show:

Butt appreciation at 8:05

Thanks!

I'm always impressed by people's abilities to remember the context of things that D+P do from still pictures and short clips

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:23 am**

kuensukki wrote:Also the codependency thing, I don't want to write a lot because I agree with what everyone is saying. But here's my perspective: they are codependent to an extent, but when did codependency become a stigma? Why is it seen as bad that they rely on each other. Their codependency is by all means completely healthy. They rely on each other for emotional support and to expel the feeling of loneliness which are present in many who become famous. I mean Dan is only awkward is social events because for the most part him and Phil don't trust others, they don't know who is genuine to them and who is using them to maximize their own potential fame. When they do find someone, like Louise, then they can be apart and still function.

They started off low and grew together so they have utmost respect, understanding, and trust for each other. Yes Dan will usually turn to Phil for advice, and yes they seem really sad when they are apart but at the end of the day its because the find comfort in each other. Comfort that can't obtained by anyone else

Codependency is not "relying on one another".

It is, by definition , a negative term for a dysfunctional relationship.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:26 am**

pixlexia wrote:
kuensukki wrote:Also the codependency thing, I don't want to write a lot because I agree with what everyone is saying. But here's my perspective: they are codependent to an extent, but when did codependency become a stigma? Why is it seen as bad that they rely on each other. Their codependency is by all means completely healthy. They rely on each other for emotional support and to expel the feeling of loneliness which are present in many who become famous. I mean Dan is only awkward is social events because for the most part him and Phil don't trust others, they don't know who is genuine to them and who is using them to maximize their own potential fame. When they do find someone, like Louise, then they can be apart and still function.

They started off low and grew together so they have utmost respect, understanding, and trust for each other. Yes Dan will usually turn to Phil for advice, and yes they seem really sad when they are apart but at the end of the day its because the find comfort in each other. Comfort that can't obtained by anyone else
I don't mean this as an argument so oh dear I hope I don't sound sassy or rude, but I think what you're talking about is more or less them being more comfortable around each other than other people, which makes total sense! Codependency is more like not being able to exist without another person, refusing to do anything without that other person's guidance/permission, etc etc, which isn't a healthy relationship because then people start losing their own autonomy, like if one person is left without the other and they're suddenly unable to function/exist as a healthy human being.
Despite how tragic it is, it's quite an interesting subject to look up, so if anyone is unclear about this I highly suggest doing it! You can also get a lot of good information about how to have a healthy relationship/be a good partner, etc etc.

This is your friendly and totally unqualified neighborhood camp counselor Pixlexia signing off
Also sorry for double posting I'm shameful

You didn't come off as rude so don't worry. I learned that codependency was not being able to function without the other, or one person in the relationship taking advantage of the vulnerability of another which isn't the case for Dan or Phil. They both are dependent on each other emotionally but they are still able to do projects on their own so their relationship to me seems very functional and healthy. (Sorry for being misinformed, I'm a third year university student under a pre-med major I haven't seen any vocabulary other than obscure muscle/bone names and chemical formulas for a long time

)

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 5:31 am**

Co-dependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

I do not personally know Dan or Phil so I have no clue what they are like at home but this to me does not seem to describe them.

I have been in a codependant relationship and there is nothing good about it. A great book I read that made me realize i was in a co dependent relationship was Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
by Melody Beattie

It really helped me to see I had an addiction a illness.When I was reading the signs of being in this type of relationship it was like a light switched on in my head and i was able to see the abuse that was happening and I got out of my relationship that was destroying me.

I am unsure if i should post this but I will because it might help someone that is reading this.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:06 am**

Thank you Cora808 and Mama_Phan for your posts about codependency.

I want to echo them by saying that it is inaccurate and a bit insensitive to describe things like "spending lots of time together" and "relying on each other for emotional support" as codependency. (It's sort of akin to describing oneself as "OCD" just because one likes to organize.) A codependent relationship is very dysfunctional and damaging for the parties involved. I have known people in an actual codependent relationship: basically one gave and gave while the other took and took (that's a huge over-simplification but it's how I can think to describe it quickly), and it was, as Mama_Phan said, one-sided and emotionally-destructive.

There are many terms that might describe Dan and Phil's remarkably close relationship, but I'm pretty sure it isn't a codependent relationship, unless it's actually extremely dysfunctional behind closed doors, and not dysfunctional in a "they shouldn't spend so much time together way" — dysfunctional in a "there is emotional damage/abuse going on" kind of way.

Posted: **Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:28 am**

^^^^ Agreed, I don't see anything truly codependent about it, more closeness that one misses when the other isn't around, that much is evident. And if that's what they're letting us see, it must be an even closer connection that we don't get to see.

On the topic of drunk D&P, I can't help but think of this and just

IDB

Dan & Phil Part 2: lol bye gg

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