Dan and Phil Part 105: Gay 🧡

[fruitcriminals]

That video AND a podcast! I cannot cope! I did actually watch it again this morning just to check it was real and not a weird dream I had after a few wine's last night

[Poe]

Hellows, long time no see and all that!

What can I say? I don’t even have a photo on here anymore & had to look for my account thru a few emails, but alas, I’m back . I do find it funny that a lot of us had the exact same thought and ran back here for dem banters.

Re: the video, I’m really happy that they felt comfortable finally fully coming out with everything, but I cannot think about what a slow burn this was for most of us and to some extent we really got a ton of gaslighting. Looking back some of the times I really went “hmm am I truly crazy to imagine all of it?” after all the gaslighting I got at 15-16 from people in the larger phandom and what’re they said themselves. That being said we weren’t owned anything and realistically the phandom (along with the rest of the internet) was a bit crazy back then.

P.S. @000dia000 seems like you’ve summoned more of us. I half expected to enter and have to catch up on at least 20+ pages from the moment they posted till the last post.

[mysterylovescompany]

aww, familiar names! as soon as I saw the announcement, I thought of here and all the old threads. it's been a while hey. I'm glad IDB is still kicking. just realised my username is now obsolete because there is no more mystery. what a world. deppy got me feeling sappy tonight, what can I say. I've never been a podcast person but I'll have to give it another go for them. it might feel a bit like their old liveshows or radio show but now with an entirety different lens and I love that for them. they're forever growing together. not to sound parasocial but I want what they have.

[RiriPandaHeart2]

Hi all. I'm not sure if anyone remembers me but I was active here around 2016-2017 iirc. Hi again. It's been a long time. But I just came here to drop by and see what everyone was saying. The video made me look back in my time at the Phandom, and I realized I haven't been here for years already. It took more than a few tries to get my password right. I'm just glad I remember that I made a thread here before so I knew where to look for my username . Anyway, I'm so happy for them that they can be out and proud as a couple (but are they really in that they've never even defined it before? loool ). I'm also not quite a podcast person but I'll definitely watch their podcast. I hope they can share stories that they couldn't before. I have still been watching their videos (but not all I have to admit), but I haven't really reacted to any of them and wasn't really on any Dan and Phil community in the past few years. But that'll probably change now because I want to be in a space where I can safely talk about Deppy (do you still call them that?), and have people understand why it matters So hello again.

[LAshleigh]

Look, I know they say we shouldn't over romanticize their relationship, but damn. It takes so much courage and strength and commitment to survive something like that and I am so happy they managed to survive such a traumatic time in their lives.

This!! It's the one thing I'm still not sure that they understand about their current audience and our perception of them. Sure there might still be some people who care about whether they go on romantic dates or what they do in the bedroom or whatever, but I really think that most of us love their relationship because of how damn resilient they have both been and how they somehow managed to protect this one most important thing to them. I'm sure it's not perfect, but it's still so impressive and it says a lot about who they are both as individuals and as a unit.

[iero]

another person logging in for the first time in forever here

so so happy for them

[PolarFox]

I excavated my account for this as well! The title made me catch up on most of what they had been up to until now and damn, I only had the courage to watch it now. Bless them, iconic bastards. Never thought I'd be here 10 years later, hearing them addressing things?? I feel this video was for them, we didn't really need it, I think a lot of us long term phannies just kind of accepted this wasn't ours to pry out of them, we know and they know we know, but we will smite anyone trying to drag it into the light? But it's sweet they forgave all the speculation and with so much hindsight, the first wave of internet celebs was so goddamn wild and inappropriate and invasive? I can't imagine the same happening if they started posting in the mid 2010's or even in 2020's or so.
It's sweet to see all these familiar names logging here too, I missed you guys and reading and talking in the threads back during the content droughts

[AltMay]

Oh boy.... I saw the video last night and came here as a reflex. It made me feel a bit nostalgic cause i haven't been in touch with phandom for years (still watching the videos though), but what a comeback! And just gotta say how happy it makes me to see IDB still active and thriving
Re the video. What can i say... All of the acknowledgment, the CLEAR boundaries. I now realise i feel relieved not cause they finally said it but because they got to tell us on their own terms. I'm so happy for them and how liberating this must be but nerve wracking aswell.
Anyway, just really happy to be here again!

(Excited to post this cause i can't remember if i had a signature and what it was )

Edit: seen it now, lol

[kiro56]

The final poof!

[Poe]

Never thought I'd be here 10 years later, hearing them addressing things??

Jesus Christ it's really been 10 years (!!!) since we've been in the Phandom! You're making me feel old lol, I could swear 2016 was yesterday. How the time has flown, last time I was fully on here I was in highschool, now I have a job, bachelor's & master's done, married, and have to pay fricking taxes & actually adult .

the first wave of internet celebs was so goddamn wild and inappropriate and invasive? I can't imagine the same happening if they started posting in the mid 2010's or even in 2020's or so

Honestly, the internet has changed a lot from the 2010s to now. I feel like if they had started in the mid-2010s, they still would have had their privacy invaded, but in a more moderate way. I'm thinking about the YouTube drama era and big YouTuber fandoms at that time. But if they had started closer to 2018 or 2019, I believe their experience would have been entirely different. Not necessarily better, though. I feel like the earlier fandoms were more loyal and much more likely to support the creators, whether through money, subscriptions, likes, comments, or other means. I'm not sure they would have grown to the size of a book tour or worldwide tour. I guess every moment would have had its pros and cons.

[literally_formless]

The joint channel is gaining so many subscribers! What if they hit 3 million again

Also, the Daily Mail referred to them as a "former supermarket staffer and former dog walker" and it just really made me laugh. They really decided to make it work as internet clowns from day one.

[danphil333]

I just had to log back in after a million years
i still care about those two for some reason

[lurker]

I slept right through the release, getting a good night's sleep for once at the worst time It was a huge surprise waking up to this this morning, and my immediate reaction was to check IDB to get the gist of it. My heart is really full for them, I hope this gives them relief. The part where Dan apologised to Phil, and Phil said he didn't need to might have made me cry a little bit.

I never thought they would ever do that (or, at least I thought they'd wait till they're 75 and then write a tell-all memoir lmao) - but it sounded like this will allow for them to get something like a sense of closure, and I'm happy for them. I wonder if their insights might also be interesting for people outside the phandom, as they've been through such a uniquely intense relationship with their fandom. Anyway! It was nice to check in with IDB, I hope you're all doing well!

[koalaselfie]

logging in for the first time in years, but i am so so happy for them
i can imagine it's like having a shadow lifted completely.

it was really evident in the video how calming phil's influence is on dan; i can now absolutely understand how he was dan's rock all this time. the "i don't think i need to forgive you" and "that's okay" was incredible to witness and made me go "awwh".

and they're such air signs!! what do you mean they technically haven't labelled it, that is so typical of a gemini and aquarius

[jmorton]

What got me was Phil admitting he sort of re-closeted himself for Dan. That shows a tremendous amount of commitment and patience with someone and sort of tells us how deep their relationship is and what kind of special person Phil is.

[parallel]

Man this is crazy... I'm not sure I can deal with post hard launch content

Remember in the vid when they said they found themselves having to self-censor in videos because they were saying things that sounded too gay? I'm just thinking, wtf were they saying that had to be cut out given all the stuff we've been seeing from them these past 2 years?!?! I'm terrified

Edit: forgot to add what I actually came here to post before I saw dnp posted. I miss the phandom. I deleted all my phan accounts years ago pre-2019. Still watched them on and off and put any thoughts I had on IDB. But now I feel the need to be posting again... maybe I'll make a phannie tumblr, idk. I'm sure a whole lot of gay people in their 20s are about to start making new tumblr sideblogs lmao. But yeah, this video made me realise I didn't actually have phannie friends I could talk to about this anymore. I have no idea how to contact my old friends.

[fizzymcguire]

That picture is kinda crazy! It feels very much like experimenting with what is comfortable, which I guess is going to be the vibe generally moving forward. Also hi to all on this high holiday.

[trashqueen]

hi hello, another person logging in for the first time in? 8 years maybe? (which you can tell by my extremely outdated millennial humor username, i’m embarrassed too)

anyways, what a wild ride, congrats to dnp for fighting the rpf war on the side of rpf and winning, genuinely so happy for them!

if i may add something to debate to my ‘yay phan!’ post, one thing that stood out to me about the video, is that i think they downplayed how much the shipping and speculating kept their career afloat through…. questionable choices…. don’t get me wrong, i don’t blame them, they’re free to contextualize the psychological torture we put them through however they want tbh, but i do think that the tension between shipping driving them insane, while simultaneously making them successful (and also between their audience being extremely supportive and loyal, but also invasive) is one of the most interesting aspects of the bizarre life they are experiencing, and kind of key to understanding their choices too, like why they didn’t stop making content together back in 2014 / tried to separate their brands straight away to stop the speculation

ps, if anyone here still remembers me, hope you all are doing great!

[princesstalsy]

Because.... I think they're making the point that it's not for us to know and they're going to keep it that way. When people talk about a "hard launch" ....... please. You really think Mr. & Mr. "You're not entitled to our private life" are going to outright say We Are In A Relationship and kiss on the lips?

They're not "hiding" anymore, but these two have clearly carefully constructed a level of ambiguity that they feel happiest with and comfortable operating under, and feel strongly about not giving people the satisfaction of knowing.

um........ so that was a fucking lie LOOOOL.

wow.

i never once considered the fact that they weren't even really out as a couple to people irl??? i am genuinely so surprised (and saddened) to learn that - that the traumatic outing they experienced online continued to affect how they navigated their relationship and friendships AND LIVES up until now....

is anyone else super shocked about this particular thing??

[fizzymcguire]

hi hello, another person logging in for the first time in? 8 years maybe? (which you can tell by my extremely outdated millennial humor username, i’m embarrassed too)

anyways, what a wild ride, congrats to dnp for fighting the rpf war on the side of rpf and winning, genuinely so happy for them!

if i may add something to debate to my ‘yay phan!’ post, one thing that stood out to me about the video, is that i think they downplayed how much the shipping and speculating kept their career afloat through…. questionable choices…. don’t get me wrong, i don’t blame them, they’re free to contextualize the psychological torture we put them through however they want tbh, but i do think that the tension between shipping driving them insane, while simultaneously making them successful (and also between their audience being extremely supportive and loyal, but also invasive) is one of the most interesting aspects of the bizarre life they are experiencing, and kind of key to understanding their choices too, like why they didn’t stop making content together back in 2014 / tried to separate their brands straight away to stop the speculation

ps, if anyone here still remembers me, hope you all are doing great!

not to double post but i completely agree with this. a frustration i had with the rhetoric is that all of my friends who were passingly aware of dan and phil and excited about the announcement are speaking to me about it like we're from two completely different worlds, which i guess we are. from my perspective, it's not an easy "just talk about the content!" answer, because as we know the content was built off the back of the relationship. there's so many bullet points i could add here, but i know you all know them already.

the one thing that i have been bringing up to well meaning "normies" is the part where dnp talked about the sunday times article, and how they thought it was weird or invasive that the journalist researched them beforehand, as if that is not quite literally their job. like of course you didn't like that article, it was from the perspective of a confused certified grown up who didn't know what the hell you were about! and that section they shared is the one that we referenced a lot on this side of the fandom, because it was basically the first time that question wasn't met with an outward denial? idk.

tldr; i think dnp are allowed to construct whatever meaning from their own lives makes the most sense to them, but the interesting stuff is the stuff that isn't as pretty or clear cut. at least to me. at least in my opinion.

[fondsmiles]

Wow! Wow! I had to come here too. I started reading this thread two pages back, with the slow discussions about how comfortable it is to watch them make authentic content now, and how the state of "we all know but there's privacy" is what there well be - to then the explosion after the drop of the video. Wow!

It's funny to look at my own reactions too. I was 20 and in university when I really joined the phandom, with plenty of time to freak out and plenty of need for deep emotional investments. Now I am 30 and saw the notification on the couch with my wife, but went to bed because I need my sleep and them had an exciting morning watch for once.
What's been the greatest has been reactivating old fandom contacts I have on Instagram (which was always just my personal account) and discussing this with them!
I miss when I was proper active in fandom. I feel like I don't even know anymore how to post on socials and I don't have community there anymore.
Another instant thought was of this here - forums are such a great format for this, especially when you cannot be constantly online (anymore). I was not disappointed.

Re:video:
- They seem so, so settled. That makes me so happy. This is just the continuation of all the announcements that helped them (Dan) be more open. I have depression - i am gay - we are together. The unveiling of shame and internal pressure and the acceptance of being who they (Dan) truly are.
- Phil is so .... I cannot believe this is who he truly is. I am so glad we got to know him these past few years, and now even more. Insanely funny, patient, dry humour. He was NOT successful at portraying a likeable persona, lol.
- Dan has grown so, so much. I like this guy! He had it hard, but he didn't get stuck there after all.
- Podcast! Podcast!!!! I am thinking liveshow vibes, but more authentic and funnier. I am thinking content compatible with my life (aka my commutes and house chores), which excites me almost as much as the rest.

I did not believe we would get to know them like this.

[LAshleigh]

I am thinking content compatible with my life (aka my commutes and house chores), which excites me almost as much as the rest.

This x1000!! My daily responsibilities have increased tenfold in the past several years, so I don't always have time to watch their videos in a timely manner. But a podcast I can throw on while driving to work or doing the dishes sounds PERFECT!

[feenix]

Hi everyone! As everyone has already said I'm so so so happy for dnp that they finally feel comfortable enough to share this with the world!! But I also feel so heartbroken for the trauma they've both been through. It was gutwrenching to see the look on their faces at some points in the video. I parasocially want to wrap them in a blanket. They shouldn't have had to go through all that heartbreak because of the phandom.

I'm also VERY excited for their new content! It's truly a new era!!! The photo they posted nearly killed me off! And a phodcast is everything I ever dreamed of, I loved the Stereo shows even though that app was ridiculous. Longform yapping from my favourites, yes please!!

Also I'm so disgusted by some of the comments I'm seeing. Just people who have clearly not watched the video saying "yeah we knew" and confidently "um didn't they already confirm this" as well as a couple people calling Dan toxic. I know that they are grown men who go to therapy and have come to terms with how people will react, but I wish they didn't have to see those kinds of comments.

I'm so curious also about who knew in their lives? Which of their friends were keeping the secret for them, and which were as clueless as the rest of us? Semi-related, I haven't seen much public reaction from other creators outside of a couple of instagram comments. Has anyone compiled a list of reactions? I just wanna see the love

I'll shut up with my word vomit now haha! Glad to see this place busy again, it's been so quiet for so long

[vincentian]

if i may add something to debate to my ‘yay phan!’ post, one thing that stood out to me about the video, is that i think they downplayed how much the shipping and speculating kept their career afloat through…. questionable choices…. don’t get me wrong, i don’t blame them, they’re free to contextualize the psychological torture we put them through however they want tbh, but i do think that the tension between shipping driving them insane, while simultaneously making them successful (and also between their audience being extremely supportive and loyal, but also invasive) is one of the most interesting aspects of the bizarre life they are experiencing, and kind of key to understanding their choices too, like why they didn’t stop making content together back in 2014 / tried to separate their brands straight away

I agree with this completely. Not to diminish their individual talents, but shipping/mystery/speculation and all the fanworks inspired by them is what kept the boys relevant for so many years. Dan saying that he had great views on individual content and that he considered going solo wouldn't stop the fact that he would remain one half of the beloved ship. Idk if he could ever get a clean break even if he tried to. People were and continue to stay hooked because of their unique story and chemistry. This wasn't acknowledged enough in the video, but it's not a pleasant thing to admit, everyone wants to be recognized for their creative work first and foremost.

On another note, I'm really interested to know how they feel about the existence of a phan song with lyrics that adapted the valentine's video transcript. Btw, I love that song, but the fact of its existence - do they find it invasive? Other fans songs and fan works that essentially celebrate love?

Generally, I think they underestimate how extensively people have been thinking of them as a couple for years. Not just fantasizing, but drawing from facts. I kinda laughed when Dan couldn't comprehend how could someone call them the example of perfect love story. It's a parasocial comment, sure, but I think it's a collective opinion at this point.

[RiriPandaHeart2]

I'm so curious also about who knew in their lives? Which of their friends were keeping the secret for them, and which were as clueless as the rest of us?

Tbh, I think only PJ and Sophie and Bryony actually knew. Also probably Crabstickz just because he hung out with them a lot before and PJ also knew. Catrific too I think.

Louise, I think, didn't confront them about it, and didn't really know, but they didn't try to hide stuff from her. Like less filtery than the others, but still not a total insider.

Others, I genuinely think knew nothing about their relationship. Like maybe they asked and were met with a non-answer and they didn't ask further than that.

But of course I could be wrong. I hope other people give their opinions on who probably knew as well as this is something I'm also really curious about.